January
by 01031989
Summary: He wanted to be a 'One Man Show.' So he had to get rid of everyone standing in his way...including her.


**Author's Note: I thought of this story idea while driving home from work on a rainy day while listening to the "The Dark Knight" , "The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" and "The Rock" soundtracks. I highly recommend them, if you haven't heard them already. I also thought the song "All I Wanted" by Paramore was very fitting. **

**This was just a little one shot that I had to write out so I wouldn't forget it. I kind of like the one shot idea. **

**Thank you for reading !**

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><p>I can still feel how cold the wind was that day. It was late January. Completely overcast. It all happened so fast, I never saw it coming…<p>

I was in one of the Ford Explorers that we recently stole from a junk yard. I sat patiently in the driver's side seat, with my gloved hands in-between my legs trying to stay warm. The heat of course did not work in the truck. What did I expect from a junk yard find? We were thankful it ran at all. I exhaled and watched my breath fill the air around me. My body was frozen stiff until I saw him. All thoughts of pain subsided when he was present. It was kind of ironic, since he was the source of most of my pain.

I quickly started the vehicle and unlocked the passenger side door for him. He hopped in and I smiled. I was thankful he was alive. A sense of relief would always go through me when I saw him after a completed job. He started taking off his purple leather gloves and tossed them on his lap. Not once looking at me. Instead, he quickly glanced up towards the road ahead of us and mumbled a, "Go." I obeyed. I always did now. I put the truck in first and without hesitation, drove away towards the next house.

I learned all the back roads to our jobs. I was excellent with direction. I never had a car of my own so I loved this new found freedom the Joker allowed me to have. Of course, I could never drive alone. I was always escorted. I suddenly felt important though. I had a part in this play we called "jobs". I was the driver, overcoming the stereotype of women drivers. I smiled to myself. I felt like I was finally needed. Before me, the Joker would drive or hijack an occupied vehicle and kill the driver once the job was completed. So, by the books, I held the record for the longest living driver the Joker has ever had.

I stole a glance at him. He was counting the bags of coke and then the bills. I was very sheltered when we met. I had not once, seen any sort of illegal drugs unless it was in a movie. I turned my head back to the road and started thinking. My job was important. I am finally needed by someone. I did not think about the consequences of our jobs. That would mean the possibility of us being separated, and that in itself was my biggest fear.

"Stop," he had muttered. I slowly pulled over in front of some run down row houses and put the car in neutral. Without a word, he left me. Never once saying bye. I always hoped he would say bye, just in case it was the last time…

It was two in the afternoon, but the dreary winter sky made it seem like it was six in the evening. Every time a car would pass me by, I reached for my small handgun. I exhaled seeing it was just a passerby. My breath, visible in the frozen air, seemed to get slower by each passing minute. When he was gone, the time had always seemed to have dragged on. I leaned my head against the head rest. I put my hands back in-between my legs to attempt to warm them again and kept looking out of every window.

The temperature was falling by the hour and I could feel my chest tighten. I sat up in the seat and stole a quick glance at my face in the rear view mirror. I barely recognized my appearance anymore. My blue eyes appeared lifeless, my skin translucent but my cheeks were rosy due to the frosty air. I lifted my chin towards the mirror and saw the dark bruises he had left me on my neck. I rewrapped my scarf in an attempt to cover the hideous marks. I felt ashamed and disgusted for having bruises and scars on my body but he told me it was all necessary. I hated them but he said they made me beautiful. The marks made me who I was, he would say. "I am your owner. You must look owned." Neither training nor any textbook could have ever prepared me for him. I truly wanted to understand him but there was no possible way. No two days were alike, being with the Joker.

I sat back down in the seat and shivered once more. I never argued with him about marking me. I had given up a year ago. I never wanted to go against his wishes. In the beginning I did. I had fought for my life, and almost lost it a few times. It was best, I had learned, to grin and bear it because the more I cried, the harder he hit. He was not like most people I had studied. He had zero empathy for any living creature. However, there was this part of him that was possessive of me. He was careful with expressing it but I caught sight of it a few times. He never allowed me to be alone with a henchmen in our place. If we were alone, it was only for the purpose of completing a job. He had beaten a man near death just for looking at me the wrong way when we thought we were alone in the kitchen. I guess that was the closest the Joker had ever come to admitting that he had feelings for me.

The sound of him smacking the passenger side window awoke me from my thoughts. I hastily unlocked the door and smiled. Another job down. He carried with him an oversized garbage bag. He tossed it in the back seat and motioned for me to drive with a wave of his gloved hand and typical head nod.

I had begun the drive home. That was our last stop of the day, or so I had thought. In the corner of my eye, I saw him run a hand through his green tinted hair. He slumped back in his seat and sighed.

Something was off. He never once looked defeated, at least not around me. I knew I could face severe repercussions but I had to ask, "Everything go alright in there?" I wanted to ask if he was 'okay' but decided against it. He mumbled something I could not quite make out. I kept my eyes on the road. I wanted to get close to him. He had me for over 16 months and some days it felt like I had never known him. But did I really? I saw him reach into his pants pocket and pull out his cheap 'to-go' cell phone and dial a number.

"Bridge?" was the only thing he asked the person on the other line.

He gestured for me to turn right at an oncoming intersection. Left would have been home.

He hung up and told me to drive to the Eastern Parkway Bridge. The oldest bridge in Gotham, now only used for pedestrian traffic, had seen better days. It was one of the six bridges that linked the city island to the main land. I quickly learned to refrain from questioning him. There would be days he would keep me in the loop but I guess today was not the day.

The winter sky was getting darker as we approached the parking lot adjacent to the vacant bridge. The high winds and Arctic chill must have kept the joggers and dog walkers home.

He suddenly reached over to me and yanked the keys out of the ignition and grabbed my hand gun from my jacket. Before I had a chance to move, a man approached the driver's side window. The Joker hit the unlock button on his side and let the unknown man swiftly open my door. I had no time to react as the man placed duct tape over my mouth and yanked me out of the truck by my left arm.

I struggled against the man. He was not my boss, not my owner. I was warned against letting any man touch me, I guess today was an exception to the Joker. I jerked my head around to search for the Joker and saw him saunter over to us from the back of the truck. I felt the unknown man roughly tie my hands behind my back with rope. The wind was harsh as it hit my face. My eyes then began to water. Was it from the air or from fear?

The Joker avoided my stare as he lit a cigar. I did not see anyone but him as we stood there, his henchmen assessing my bounds. The Joker inhaled deeply on his cigar and watched me struggle and attempt to kick against this foreign man. I was unsure of what was to happen next. I tried to think to back to the events that day. I had done nothing wrong. I followed all my rules and stayed in line.

I then saw the Joker nod his head then walk towards the black bridge behind us. The man holding me by my small shoulders turned around and forced me to walk to the bridge. I spotted the Joker ahead of us, meeting with another man on the bridge.

I was hoping this was just a job. I was thinking I was taken along and taped up for my safety. When would I ever stop being so damn naïve? The Joker and the man began to speak in hushed tones. As we got closer, I heard, "Sure you want to do this, Boss?"

The Joker's back was to us and I saw him nod in agreement. I looked at the ground as we stopped walking and saw the man behind me had his legs spread apart. I slowly shifted my body away and kicked him in the groin area. The man immediately fell to his knees and begun moaning and clutching his body. The Joker turned around, his eyes wide. In any other instance, he would have been proud. However, today was not the day to wreck his plans. His eyes darted from me to the fallen henchmen.

With a hasty move, the Joker punched me directly in my mouth. The force of the punch caused me to fall backwards onto the man I had just kicked. I wanted to show him I could make it. I was not the weak link in his chain. I could be like him. I was learning, I still made mistakes but overall, I was adapting to this new life.

With my hands still tightly bound behind my back, I struggled to stand up. I know I looked like a buoy in the ocean water the way I struggled onto my feet. The force of the blow caused my head and face to feel as if my jaw were broken. The pain was so intense so fast. I was almost certain I lost a tooth or two. As I stood up, I could taste the blood filling my taped up mouth.

He grabbed me by the nape of my neck and pulled me close. "More trouble than you're worth," the Joker whispered into my ear. He then took a handful of my hair and pulled at it, forcing my face closer to his. He put his cigar in his mouth to have both hands free to hold me still and said, "I taught you simple rules. So..simple. And you can't even obey me out in public with my friends."

I shook my head, my eyebrows raised. I desperately wanted the tape off my face. I needed to tell him I was sorry. I wanted to know everything. What did I do to deserve to be tied up without reason? As if he read my thoughts, he reached towards my mouth and ripped off my bounds. He still had my hair tight in his hand, causing me even more pain.

I could see him staring at my mouth, and then looked me up and down. His face showed his disgust for me. I had failed him in some way. I always felt so naked and vulnerable around him. I knew he could see right through me. My mind was never safe…never felt mine.

The wind had begun to pick up. He released me from his grip and I saw my blonde hair start to move around my face. I felt tears and blood cover my pale face. I knew the mascara he made me wear was causing black streaks to run down my cheeks. I knew I had looked a mess that day. A desperate pathetic used mess.

"Please…" was all I had mustered up to say.

He stood closer, no more space between us. I saw nothing, no one, but him. I looked up at his tall form into his deep brown eyes. I loved that we did not have to speak to communicate. It felt like days. We stood there in silence as the wind dramatically picked up, tossing our hair around. He finally took his cigar from his mouth and hold it in one hand. I saw him lick his chapped, red stained lips and grab my neck again. Gently at first but then started to squeeze.

"You do..complete me….but I need my space back again. I…I am a one man show."

Was this his way of breaking up with me? Were we even dating? What even were we? We shared things. We were intimate…. I had always thought of us as one. Yes, we fought but we kissed too. He stole me from everything. This was the only life I had known for 16 months. I had no job to go back to after this. I lost everything just to be with him.

"No," I shook my head. I closed my eyes to prevent more oncoming tears. He hated tears. Of course he saw it as a weakness. "I don't ever want this to end," my voice was small and shaky.

"You're crazy," he slurred. He slowly lifted his cigar to his Chelsea grin and inhaled deeply then looked down on me and released a puff of smoke into my face. I attempted to turn my face away but he held my head firmly in place with his free hand.

As I closed my eyes I thought, Was I crazy? Why did I want a man who stole me from the life I had? One who made me into a criminal… I began assessing myself.

He pulled the cigar from his lips and released the grip he had on me. I watched as the Joker tossed his cigar over the bridge and grab an object from the man behind him. When he turned back to me, the Joker had a roll of duct tape in his hands. He ripped a piece of tape of the full roll and watched as I slowly backed away from him. I stopped once I felt I had bumped into the man I had kicked earlier. My heart picked up and the man behind me held my head still as I watched my owner place the tape over my damaged mouth.

My tears would not stop flowing that afternoon. The only other time I cried this much was when I was stolen. I was forced towards the bridge's railing by the man behind me. I screamed beneath the tape and tossed and turned but to no avail. Once at the railing, the Joker shoved the man aside and held me by the nape of my neck again. The pain of constantly being grabbed by my neck was nothing to the pain I felt around my mouth.

The Joker's gloved hand-held my neck with such force, I was sure it was going to break. I felt my ribs being pressed into the ice-cold metal railing. I closed my eyes, afraid to see the choppy waters below.

"Just because I don't need your services anymore, doesn't mean anyone else can have you," he whispered into my right ear.

I would rather feel this pain forever…because it lets me know he's here with me.

"You know I couldn't make this simple. I am just too theatrical," he would always say he hated guns. He did not like how quick and easy they were.

"Stop your crying," he said even quieter than before.

And that was the last thing he said to me. He turned me around and as I felt the chill of the railing hit my back, I saw him lean towards me. I shook my head in defeat. I was desperate to stay with him but I had no plan, no idea what to even do. I had begun pleading with my tear filled eyes. I saw him search my face, thinking. He took his left hand and slowly lifted it and touched my arm. I thought right then and there he would keep me. I did not care about the pain in my lower jaw anymore not the frost bite I was surely getting from the winter air. All I cared about was the pain in my chest.

He turned his gaze from me to the skyline of Gotham City and gently squeezed my arm. He exhaled deeply and turned me back around. My ribs were now touching the railing again. I stood completely still as I felt him press his body into mine. His face was an inch away from my cheek. He leaned in and I inhaled his cigar scent for what I prayed was not the last. I closed my eyes as I felt his hair and cheek brush against mine. I stiffened as I hoped he would realize his mistakes…but the Joker never thought he made mistakes. In his mind, he was perfect.

Once I felt his touch leave me, I began to struggle.

"Enough of this!" A man's voice was heard behind us. I turned and saw the henchmen I had kicked start walking towards the railing. He waited until the Joker was away to pick me up and set me over the railing. I now stood on a ledge with nothing separating me from the strong currents of the Bedford River. Its choppy grey waves were beckoning me. I frantically kept looking behind me, my blonde hair brushing against my face. I made sure to make eye contact with the Joker. I saw him along with the two other men watching me, as if they all expected me to jump on my own free will. I only made eye contact with one man. My eyes were pleading with him. I could barely make out any shapes anymore due to my tears leaving my eyes.

"Boss?" One of the men broke the wind-blown silence.

The Joker mumbled something under his breath looking only at his shoes. I saw him begin to sway back and forth on his heels. He then ran both of his hands through his hair and muttered, "Go ahead."

The man I had previously kicked, rushed up to me and with one strong push, I saw myself coming face to face with the powerful current of the deadly river. I screamed through my duct tape binds and attempted to move my hands behind my back.

The cold, forbidding river, hit my already shivering body like a brick wall. I tried with all the strength I had to swim to the surface. Without the use of my hands, I was not going to make it to the surface. My legs did all they could. I opened up my eyes and saw nothing but darkness. Seeing nothing make me panic more. The current swiftly carried me downstream, surprisingly avoiding the large boulders the river housed.

I was quickly starting to lose hope. I guess your life really does flash in front of your eyes as you near a death similar to this. I saw all the people I loved and the memories I made in my short life and then I saw him. My lungs were about to crush as I was being swept away by the unforgiving current. I never prayed but in that very that moment I prayed. More memories flashed by. I saw my college, my graduation and then I saw Arkham Asylum and then I thought to myself, " I loved him."

Maybe he was right…maybe I was crazy.


End file.
